What’s New at the Library

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It is my belief that some of the most horrifying things are real things that go on in the world. Anyway, I stumbled on this has to be one of the most random things I’ve ever heard of.

I found this on Fearnet.com and it’s a short article about a child’s book about “Satanic Abuse” that was written in the 1990. You might be able to find it at the library but then again you might not. What really threw me off is that it’s a child’s book! It was supposed to help therapists look for cases of Satanic Abuse…as opposed to just normal abuse? Really?

After looking at some of the pages, I didn’t see the “Satanic” part other than a Halloween Party and a secret circle. Here, just read the article and let me know what you think: http://www.fearnet.com/news/news-article/childs-book-about-satanic-ritual-abuse 

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The Inheritance (2011)

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“What black family holds a family reunion in the middle of winter? Do they ski?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Will they barbecue?”

“Probably.”

From that point on, I was sold. And shortly after that the white characters died. Written and directed by Robert O’Hara, this ancestral haunting stars Golden Brooks (Girlfriends, remember?), Rochelle Aytes, Keith David, Shawn Michael Howard, and Darrin Dewitt Henson. It’s a typical black  family reunion movie…until, of course, the ghost of Chakabazz rises from the slave fields to slay the next generation.

I liked this movie. Think “Cabin in the Woods” but with black people. The elder family members lure their cousins into a remote house. Some of the cousins are there to beg them for money. Others are genuinely there to pay their respects. The stoned and hapless cousins find a drum and a cursed book in the living room. They chant what the book says,  unwittingly unleashing the spirit of their slave-ancestor, Chakabazz into the house. However the elders are in on the haunting from the beginning, and actively help the spirit to murder their nieces and nephews. They believe that by sacrificing one generation, they will grant everlasting prosperity to the next. What starts as an innocent family gathering quickly turns into an amusing gore-fest. I don’t usually like slasher films, but this one was unique and reminded me very much of “The Skeleton Key.” The forest scenes are unsettling. Scariest highlights: when the elders write “the flesh is the strength!” on the windows in blood and dismember a person.

All in all I recommend this movie. It’s watchable and has an unconventional premise. I’d give it a B. Great to watch with family! Har har har…

Devil Movies on the Rise

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Is it just me or is Hollywood desperate for movies about Satan’s minions?

Seriously, everytime my dad and I go to the movies there are three horror movie trailers playing back to back. At first it used to freak me out(you can thank Paranormal Activity for that) but now it’s just getting a little boring. The reason why I’m so bored with these movies is because they’re generally the same story.

It’s either one of these storylines:  haunted house, cursed object, demonic possession, or “based on true events”.

Here’s a list of movies that are coming out this year:

 First on the list is “Occulus”, the story about a sister and brother trying to prove that it was a cursed mirror that turned their father into a killer. As much as I like the idea of Amy Pond being off on her own solving a case of the killer mirror, I can’t help but think….WHERE’S RORY?!

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This next one is called “The Quiet Ones”. This falls in the “Based Off a True Events” and demonic possession category. This is about a group of students who perform an experiment to prove that ghosts and demons are things we make up in our minds. This is supposed to be based off a true story but after reading this article this movie is very very very very far from the supposed true event. Thanks but I’ll pass.

http://images.moviepilot-cdn.com/teaser-trailer-released-for-horror-film-deliver-us-from-evil.jpeg?width=697&height=388

The last movie I want to talk about is “Deliver Us From Evil”. This also falls into the “true events” and maybe hauntings category. This is based on the eye witness accounts of NYPD officer Ralph Sarchie as he battles evil. I might check out the book first before I watch this one, just so I have something to compare it to.

Same old same old. But If you’re into these kinds of movies then by all means check them out. Just remember that you’re probably watching something that’s predictable.

Vampire Blood Incense

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Made by Devils Garden. Certified Undead, you guys. www.vampirebloodincense.com

Made by Devils Garden. Certified Undead, you guys. http://www.vampirebloodincense.com

So the boyfriend and I found this premium vampire extract whilst perusing through our local head shop. He laughed. I giggled. (The meth-head cashier rolled her eyes.) Then we took it home and lit up.

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I’ve never inhaled vampire blood before, so this was a very exciting experience. The fragrance is deep, complex, and earthy. It is pleasantly floral without being too perfumey and smells like old lace, sex, and damp cemeteries.

When burned, the incense releases a thin, steady stream of smoke. It slowly scents the whole room without burning your eyes like some other incenses. Vampire Incense may look like a novelty item, but it really does have a nice smell. It’s subtle and calming. One of my favorite new incenses, too. And it’s certified undead. You can’t beat that!

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Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer; A Review

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http://i2.listal.com/image/2678486/600full-henry%3A-portrait-of-a-serial-killer-poster.jpg

Starring: Michael Rooker, Tracy Arnold, Tom Towles

Director: John McNaughton

Is it any surprise to find out that our beloved Merle Dixon also played a cold serial killer. Michael Rooker’s performance left me with chills. There were a few moments when I had to look away. Yikes…

Anyway, it’s about Henry(Michael Rooker) gets out of prison and hooks up with former cellmate, Otis(Tom Towles). When Otis’ sister Becky(Tracy Arnold) comes to visit, they are introduced to two completely different sides of Henry. The psychotic killer and the all around good guy.

I always thought that it was interesting how, with Henry, he could turn his personality on and off. First he’s nice and then the next he’s raping and killing while filming it. Or maybe it was everyone else that was messed up. For example, Henry is hanging out with Becky and she asked him what he went to prison for. He tells her he killed his mother….umm….not sure why she thought that was totally cool but she did. It didn’t freak her out at all!

Sometimes it was a little uncomfortable to watch. It didn’t have anything to do with the actors but it was the subject itself.

Anyway check it out. Get creep out. Watch the demented mind of a serial killer unfold on you screen.

Trailer:

Faust: So Stupid It Hurts (to laugh)

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Have you ever seen a movie so stupid, so terrible, so what-the-fuck-was-the-director-thinking, that it became good? Not just good, but insanely entertaining and (dare I say) awesome? Well, that was my experience when watching “Faust: Love of the Damned” (2000)

I really don’t want to tell you what this movie is about. A summary would  just take all the fun out of it. I will say this: It is bizarro. Seizure-inducing bizarro. And smut. And gore. And awesomeness. But I already wrote that…

“Faust” is a Spanish horror film directed by Brian Yuzna. It stars Mark Frost, Andrew Divoff, Monica Van Campen, and Isabel Brook. I think the story is based off of a comic book of the same name. Despite the cheesy costumes, the movie has a definitive “noir-graphic-novel” feel. It’s satanical and hilarious. The main character delivers lines like: “I’m the pornography that gets you hot!” and “Not enough blood?” with a grin while he frolics around in a tight, red, rubber suit. It’s not supposed to scare you.

The inflation scene. It will either make your snort with laughter or vomit. Or both. (Definitely both!)

Don’t watch this movie if you’re offended by tits and ass and or poor costume-design. Don’t watch this movie if you’re expecting great acting. I mean this movie has like 4 out of 10 stars on IMBD. Everyone universally agrees it’s bad. But hey, critics are a humorless bunch and none of that should stop you from watching “Faust” at least once!

I loved this movie. Yes, it’s stupid. Yes, it’s terrible. But if it were anything less than a hot mess, I wouldn’t have laughed so fucking hard. I’m giving it sticky, wet  A+!!!  Adding this train wreck into my collection.