Silent Baby Screams: A Review

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Just the title alone was enough to make me say, “I have to read this”.  This is another story by Regina Puckett.

So this is about a new mother who adores her baby but her husband is a bit jealous. When she goes to work, she calls the babysitter to check in but Daddy Dearest didn’t drop the baby off. Now with her son missing one has to wonder. Did daddy kill baby? Or is she just paranoid?

I thought this short story was awesome! I’m not going to give too much away, but I do love twist endings! Normally stories about children are being hurt upset me. I don’t like seeing or reading about these things, but this story was mostly focused on every mother’s fear about losing her child. What makes the nightmare worse is that the prime suspect is the baby’s father.

Again because it’s a short story I can’t talk more about it without giving the rest of the plot away. Check it out! This one is definitely a blast to read.

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Melissophobia, A Confession

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As a horror writer I’m often asked what scares me. Unfortunately for my inquirers, I always give the same unexciting answer. No, not snakes, spiders, clowns, or tightly-confined spaces. I’m not afraid of heights or the sight of blood. I’m afraid of bees. Buzzing, stinging bees. Like, seriously. I will scream like a 4yr old girl and run for dear life if one lands near me. I will hesitate for 15min before entering my apartment if a hornet’s nest is above the doorway.  When I flee, I squeeze my eyes shut while shrieking and flailing my arms. I’m paranoid something will sting me. And the most ironic part of having this phobia is that I’ve never been stung! Not once.

Melissophobia is the phobia of getting stung by bees and wasps. I’ve harbored this irrational fear since I was 4 or 5 years old. As a cruel joke on my brother, I kicked a trashcan over that had a hornet’s nest so they would swarm him. He was stung so many times he was rushed to the hospital afterwards. From that moment on, I’ve been terrified of bees. Perhaps it’s residual guilt from a childish prank gone wrong. Who knows? All I know is that I’m more afraid of bees than my little brother is. He will waltz right up to a nest and smack it.

How has this phobia impacted my life? Well, it limits how much time I spend outdoors. Sometimes I get the urge to roll my desk onto my patio and write. However, if a bee meanders nearby I will abandon my laptop and run back inside, haha. It may take an hour for me to work up the nerve to gather my things on the patio again.

So I’ve told you my phobia. What’s yours?

Splinter(2008): A Review

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http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/11/Splinterposter08.jpg/220px-Splinterposter08.jpg

Director: Toby Wilkins

Starring: Shea Whigham, Jill Wagner, Paulo Costanzo

In this twisted film, a young couple are trapped in an isolated gas station with an escaped convict. Sounds like a bad joke right? Well, that bad joke doesn’t have a spiky parasite that snatches living hosts and stitches them together in a creepy, Picasso inspired monster. The three captives must work together to combat this monster before they become a part of this patchwork parasite.

 I didn’t think it was a bad movie. It wasn’t an amazing movie but I found it entertaining and creepy. I turned into that viewer who yells at the TV saying, “No! Don’t go there!” or “Bitch, look behind you!!!” I thought it was completely gross how the parasite would latch onto a person and the creepy sound it made…ICK! My favorite scene was where it latched onto an amputated hand and it scuttled across the floor like a spider! One of the things that added to the terror was you never saw the creature completely. You saw bits and pieces of it throughout the movie and then, if I remember correctly, at the end you see it.

Your imagination plays tricks with you. Like I said, I enjoyed it and I recommend that you watch it.

I give it a B+

Trailer:

The Returned: Classy French Zombies

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Holy cow, I love this series! Zombies? Check. High-brow Drama? Check. French? Why not?! You have GOT to watch “The Returned!” I’m telling you, it’s a gem! I just fell in love with the story and I know you will, too. I promise this is not like any zombie thing you’ve ever seen. For one, the zombies look just like you and me, they talk, they fall in love, they question their existence… The characters are so beautifully written, you will empathize with each one. The episodes follow a bunch of loosely connected people and their journeys from life, death, to zombiehood. The setting takes place in a  small French town in the mountains. The characters’ individual stories fit like a jigsaw puzzle, slowly hinting how and why the zombies resurrected. There are only 9 episodes so you can watch the whole thing in one go.

Look how pretty the opening is. Look. LOOK, dammit!

The series leaves many unanswered questions. I happened to catch the series halfway through on IFC and wound up scouring the internet for more. Or you can buy it (as I plan to) HERE. The American version is called “The Resurrected” and will air on ABC sometime soon, I think. But you know how we, Americans, fuck everything up. So just watch the original French version and deal with the English subtitles. IT IS WORTH IT. I wouldn’t lie to you. If you like “The Walking Dead” on AMC then you will adore “The Returned.” It has smart writing. Smart acting. Smart directing. Just watch it. A++++ all the way! You’re welcome. Cannot wait for season 2!

The Day the Monsters Died….

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I thought I’d just take a minute and mourn Monsters as a whole. No longer are they created to scare the shit out of us, now you just feel sorry for them. You feel sorry not because they’re these tortured being, but because they’re so depressing.

THE BEAST

I think the CW’s Beauty and the Beast bugs me the most. It was a reboot of the 1980’s TV which everyone loved with Ron Perlman as Vincent the strong Beast with a poetic soul. This new Vincent is sexy former soldier with a scar on his face. I enjoyed the 1980s version better because you can see why Vincent feels that he and Catherine can’t be together. He looks like a freaking lion!! the modern Vincent was part of a super-soldier program that went wrong and the scar is a result of that. When he gets upset he turns into something similar to the Incredible Hulk. So he feel because of his emotional issues he and Catherine can’t be together. Take an anti-depressant and move on. You have no right to call yourself a hideous monster when you’re anything but hideous. I tried watching it with an open mind but I just hated this no modern Emo Vincent.

FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER

I’m not going to say I hated “I, Frankenstein” because I didn’t. I thought it was a fun scifi movie. However, I wished that they made Aaron Eckhart look more like a monster. He’s got scars that look like they’re painted on. Now if the patches of skin were different colors letting us know they were different body parts, then that would make us see with our own eyes that he is a monster. His character too is running around the planet whining about how he’s a monster and no one would love him. Look in the mirror! Scars are sexy so you don’t have a reason to complain. The original Frankenstein’s Monster was a mess! Of course people are going to run away from him, but Adam(Eckhart) looks pretty normal. If he needed to make up a story he could tell everyone he got mugged once….and it didn’t end well for the mugger! Just saying. Yet another Emo Monster.

And lastly there’s the vampires. The sparkly and bloody kind.

I realize that vampires are supposed to be sex symbols but sparkling vampires?! I like my vampires unapologetic, violent, and bloody. That’s why I love shows like TrueBlood and Dracula. These vampires will tear you to pieces. Why? Because they can. They are monsters with nothing but time on their hands so they do whatever they want, whenever they want. It’s pretty cool to have that kind of power, don’t you think? So the question I ask myself is why would you waste your time being a “vegetarian” vampire? To make them seem more human? They’re monsters! They’re not supposed to be human. I also can’t get past the glittering thing of Twilight. I’ll admit I read the books and I got wrapped up into the “Team Edward vs Team Jacob” battle but then I grew up. Sparkling vampires isn’t scary, but I will give Edward Cullen credit for being a creep. He watches Bella sleep, follows her everywhere, and thinks she smells delicious. Kinda like a creepy Santa except he doesn’t have any presents.

On a side note: has anyone else noticed that as the Twilight movies progressed, the vampires stopped sparkling?

Anyway, that’s my rant about monsters today. I have more hope for the future though. NBC’s Dracula has shown me that the classic vampire is back in action. I also heard through the grapevine that NBC is considering a “Wolfman” series inspired by the classic monster. I hope it’s true and that they remain faithful to the classic monster. Below I found a hilarious video about what would happen if Eric Northman from TrueBlood ever met Edward Cullen.

ENJOY!!

Emilie Autumn Fights Like A Girl!

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Emilie Autumn is a classically trained violinist and a bipolar, vegan, and feminist rockstar. She writes goth music with a Victorian edge. She an original tour de force and her songs burst with self-righteous fervor. It’s scream-o on menses. Classic goth girl punk.  I have 2 full albums of hers: Opheliac and Laced/Unlaced. I also have a few singles floating around my iTunes: “Fight Like A Girl” and “Across The Sky,” however my favorite songs are still “Opheliac,” “Gothic Lolita,”Thank God I’m Pretty,” and um…yeah. I can’t pick a favorite song since nearly every song on the first disc of Opheliac is my favorite. Whenever I listen to Emilie Autumn, my boyfriend pokes his head in my room and begs me to turn down the “screeching.” Haha.

Her vocals are harsh, sharp, and piercing at times. But what draws me to back to her albums are the lyrics. I dig the angst. What can I say? I’m still a reformed goth girl at heart and Emilie Autumn calms the raging, whiny teen in me.

“Gothic Lolita” lyrics (I don’t own anything!)

If I am Lolita then you are a criminal,
and you should be killed by an army of little girls
The law won’t arrest you, the world won’t detest you
you never did anything any man wouldn’t do!

I’m Gothic Lolita and you are a criminal!
I’m not even legal, I’m just a dead little girl!
But ruffles and laces, and candy sweet faces,
directed your furtive hand

I perfectly understand, so it’s my fault

Nooooooo!

Read more: Emilie Autumn – Gothic Lolita Lyrics | MetroLyrics

Emilie Autumn’s life story is kinda amazing. She is a rape-suicide survivor and once did a stint in an insane asylum. She’s an animal rights activist, political LGBTQIA ally, and looks fierce in tight pink corsets. She wears a heart on her cheek to chase away bad juju. She’s an inspiration. It is my life’s mission to see this woman in concert. If any of you minions score some tickets, please send them over. I will love you forever and ever?

I guess it’s more than the music. I like seeing women kick ass. And that’s something Emilie Autumn certainly excels at. 🙂

Ours: A Review

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 You know…I’m starting to like reviewing short stories. I found this one on my NOOK for a dollar so I thought “why the hell not?”

This short story was written by Regina Puckett. It’s about this cop who has to escort a group of paranormal investigators to an old insane asylum. While there he gets to see if the stories of the haunted mad house is real or is it just a fun story used for Halloween.

I was a little confused with what was going on. Maybe I was reading it too fast or something just got lost. There came a point where we see if it’s just one big joke or not. Somewhere along the way, the town decided to open the asylum and decorate it for Halloween so they could bring in some business. But then the paranormal investigators are there at the same time. Wouldn’t that cause some interference? I don’t know. I’m not saying it’s a bad story, I enjoyed it. I’m just saying I got a little lost somewhere along the way.

Anyway, feel free to check it out. Maybe you understand it better than I could.

The Moth Diaries (2011)

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Director: Mary Harron (female director, whoohoo!) 

Starring: Sarah Bolger, Lily Cole, Sarah Gadon, and Scott Speedman

Let me begin this review with a quote from the movie. Ahem. There are three things in every gothic vampire story:

  • 1. Sex
  • 2. Blood
  • 3. Death

But in this movie there’s a missing element. So I’ll just come out (no pun intended) and write it:

  • 4. Lipstick femmes and implied lesbianism

16yr old Rebecca is a *cough*closeted*cough* student at an all-girl boarding school. She shares a room with Lucy, her “best friend” *cough*girlfriend*cough,* who offers “comfort” in the wake of Rebecca’s father’s suicide. Rebecca makes a habit of joining Lucy in the bathtub and caressing her face (cuz straight girls LOVE sharing intimate bubble baths together.) They even have an “out” token lesbian friend named Charlie who they hang out with, too. Yup.  Everything in Rebecca’s sapphic utopia is cool until a new girl, Ernessa, shows up on campus.

Rebecca becomes troubled *cough*jealous*cough* when Lucy and Ernessa develop an unnatural friendship *cough*havingsex*cough. Mmmhmm there’s a love scene between the two girls. And menses. Mattress. Staining. Menses. I was half-expecting to see gory muff-diving stuff, but thankfully the movie didn’t go there. Rebecca is convinced Ernessa is a vampire. Ernessa walks through glass. She pops up everywhere in Rebecca’s wet dreams. And the girl has a rotten scent and never seems to eat at the cafeteria.

Rebecca goes so far as to burn her rival in a coffin. But you stopped paying attention once I wrote “lesbian love scene” right?  Let’s be honest. We’re here for the thinly veiled girl-on-girl stuff. Yes? OK? Good. I’m not the only one.

“The Moth Diaries” is long, predictable, and maudlin at times. The actress who plays Rebecca isn’t very convincing, and there’s not much horror here, either. What this movie has a lot of are perky femmes, meta gothic theory and…um…yeah. That’s about it. The plot is a hot mess. The ending doesn’t even make sense. But I’m giving it a “C.” I can see where the director meant to go, but there were too many derailments along the way to give this movie the bite it needed (pun intended.) I recommend this movie for folks who enjoy underaged schoolgirl fantasy flicks. And weird closeted lesbianism. Sigh.

La Llorona: A Cultural Point of View

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Since Damsel Cannibal wrote a review about a film concerning La Llorona, I thought it would be cool to tell the story as I know it.

Coming from a Mexican background, we have a lot of old folklore and scary stories to frighten children into behaving themselves. One of these stories is La Llorona, roughly translated to “the weeping woman”.

Once upon a time, there was a widow named Maria who had a few children. More than anything she wanted to remarry and be happy. One day Maria met a man and fell in love with him. However, her new lover didn’t want to take care of children. Desperate for his love she took to the river and drowned them. Thinking that her problem was solved, she returned to her lover thinking that marriage was in their future. However, the man left her, he just used her. The realization that she murdered her children for nothing pushed her to drown herself in the same river where she murdered her children. When she was on her way to Paradise, Heaven asked her where her children were. She  was afraid that she would be sent to Hell for her crime so she lied and said she lost them. Heaven wasn’t impressed so they told her, she could never come into Paradise until she found them again. So now her soul wanders the earth, uselessly looking for her children. You can hear her sobbing, “Mis Hijos! Donde estan mis hijos?!”(My children! Where are my children?!) But be careful, she’s so desperate to get into Heaven that any child will do. She’s been known to kidnap children who disobey their parents and wander off.

That’s the story as I know it. Remember don’t wander off because La Llorona will get you!!

La Leyenda de la Llorona (2011)

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This is a kid’s movie. So why am I reviewing it? Because the ghost of Llorona got nothin’ on chupacabras! And I’m always hunting for spooks from other cultures. Damsel Bruja will write more about Llorona and Mexican ghost tales in another post. For now let’s talk about this movie.

Brother and sister, Beto and Kika go trick-or-treating in their village only to find a strange ghostlike woman. The spirit is Llorona, the wailing witch who kidnaps children. She takes Beto and leaves Kika in the forest. Enter Leo San Juan and his paranormal team of investigators. Leo San Juan is a cute character. His snarky sidekicks add comic relief. There’s Teodora, a ghost who mimics Paris Hilton,  Alebrije, a talking dragon, sugar skulls, and a knight. They travel by air balloon and wind up crashing on a haunted puppet island.

Leo San Juan learns that, in life, Llorona was actually a single mother named Yoltzin. When her house caught fire, she tended to the flames, accidentally leaving her children to drift downstream and drown. The loss proved unbearable, filling Yoltzin’s heart with hate. She became the vengeful spirit, Llorona, and captured other children to replace the ones she lost. Those who got in her way were cursed and drained of life.

It’s a decent kid’s movie. The art isn’t offensive, the side characters add comedy, however the movie runs a little long. I liked watching it in the original Spanish language version with English subtitles. I learned a little Spanish in the process, which is always a good thing! I liked the cultural references, too. Damsel Bruja introduced me to the story of Llorona one evening when we were talking about what inspired Guillermo del Toro’s  film, “Mama.” (below)

This short film frightened Guillermo del Toro. So what does that tell you? I’m really happy Damsel Bruja showed me this. It only makes me hungry to find other Mexican horror films!