R.I.P Dracula

1

I’m seeing some mixed reports about this show. A friend and fan of the show told me that NBC was cancelling Dracula. This breaks my heart because it’s a great show to watch. I liked the costumes and I liked that story around Dracula and Van Helsing’s vendetta against the Order of the Dragon. I want another season! But if the vampires aren’t sparkling and bitching about life, then TV/Movies won’t bother with it. It’s ridiculous! Let’s the stupid teens have Vampire Diaries and let the grown ups have Dracula!

Here’s where it gets interesting. Some reports are floating around that the UK is picking up the series for the second season but NBC may not. Makes no sense to me but if that’s the way they want it then maybe BBC America might air it(here’s a link). There’s also a petition going around the Internet hoping to get NBC’s attention.

Anyway, let’s hope that the show comes back for another season, even if it’s the last season. I just don’t like unfinished stories.

Here is a link to the online petition if you are interested in showing your support for the show: https://www.change.org/petitions/nbc-continue-producing-nbc-dracula

[Side Note]

Unfortunately, as of May 10, 2014 Dracula has officially been cancelled. YOU SUCK, NBC!

Advertisements

Lady Death (2004)

0

She’s wearing a thong garter set with thigh-high stiletto boots, a cape, and a badass push-up bra! But it’s the story I’m attracted to, not her cleavage, I promise. As the daughter of Lucifer, Lady Death’s destiny is to overthrow her father and take over his kingdom in Hell. She uses a sword to slay her enemies and she commands a demon army. Female sex appeal and nonstop action is my kinda story!

I’m reviewing the animated movie, but the original story comes from the graphic novel. The writer, Brian Pulido, was kind enough to chat with me on Twitter and now I’m kind of obsessed. I’m salivating for prints. I want to have it in my hands so I can ogle at will. *Sigh* You can buy back issues from Coffin Comics Shop.

And you can watch the whole movie on youtube if you desire

The movie is predictable but entertaining. It’s a little anime-esque. Large bubbly eyes and mouth flaps that don’t line up with the voice actors’ speech. I like the art in the graphic novels better, but hey, it’s an origins movie so whatever. Before Lady Death became a badass commander, she lived the life of an aristocrat in 1478 Sweden. When her father (Lucifer) kidnaps her boyfriend, Nikolo, and threatens to burn her at the stake, she agrees to join her father in hell to save him. There’s the obligatory training montage where she learns how to sword fight with Mathias, her second-in-command. The less clothes she wears, the stronger she becomes, apparently. Not that I mind, but yeah. Wearing little to no armor, she’s able to withstand blows from various bad guys and defeat all of her father’s cronies. Oh, and she sleeps in a peignoir (how does one find a sexy peignoir in hell? HOW? I want one!)

The movie ends with the expected FINAL EPIC BATTLE when Lady Death marches an army of demons to her father’s castle and defeats him. Sort of. I’ll review the graphic novels after I’ve read them–my hunch tells me the graphic novels are infinitely times better than the movie. At least, I hope they are! Anyway, I hope you guys check it out. It’s a fun, mindless romp with gore and a sexy protagonist.

Penny Dreadful’s Gory Premiere

0

Alright! Here’s our look at Penny Dreadful. Sorry for the late post!

So Penny Dreadful is about Sir Malcolm and his friend Vanessa Ives looking for Malcolm’s daughter. They enlist the help of Ethan Chandler, a gun slinging American as their muscle. Their search leads them to a……wait for it……VAMPIRE NEST! After battling these Nosferatu, they bring a body to a young Victor Frankenstein for examination. Ethan’s eyes have been opened to a world of the supernatural and he’s been giving the opportunity to explore it further with Sir Malcolm and Miss Ives. But will he remain with them?

Let’s go over the characters:

Ethan Chandler is played by Josh Hartnett and he falls into the category of “hopeless alcoholic”. He runs a traveling shows where he spins tall tales about his exploits and shows off his gun slinging skills. He doesn’t seem offended of the idea of being a hired gun when one of the questions he asks Miss Ives if they’re going to kill someone. He’s obviously has a mysterious past he doesn’t like talking about. I thought it was amusing how Miss Ives read him like a cheap romance novel. We’ll see what Ethan as to offer.

Sir Malcolm: A Famous explorer desperately searching for his daughter, Mina. What’s fascinating is that he has no hesitation that the supernatural is to blame for it. He relays on Vanessa’s psychic ability to help him in his search. It also looks like he knows how to handle himself around vampires.

Vanessa Ives: She’s an interesting lady. She has this psychic ability that let’s her know what the hell is going on. I like how she just goes on about her business while the men are busy fighting monsters. She just walks by them like a boss. She also prays a lot. I think it more of a trance than praying and sometimes it can get intense.

Victor Frankenstein: We all know the name so by the end of the premiere episode it shouldn’t be a surprise that we find a body in his secret lab. Young Frankenstein, however, has more of a poet’s soul that anyone else. He truly believes that nothing else matters than finding that spark between life and death. He even goes as far as to mock Sir Malcolm about his explorations. Well, Frankenstein gets his wish and his creature comes to life!

One of the things I loved about this episode was the vampires. The “old ones” looked like the classic Nosferatu. More bat-like than human. Then there’s, of course, the gore involved. You can’t get enough of it.

Anyways, those are my thoughts so far. Hope you all tune in to watch the series!

You should be reading Sumiko Saulson

3

Every now and then I stumble across an indie author who writes such an incredible (and underrated) book, I have to shout their name from the rooftops. I present Sumiko Saulson and her bizarre horror anthology, “Things That Go Bump In My Head.” I took a chance on this anthology after reading positive reviews on Goodreads, and after reading the first short story, I knew this was one of those rare books that deserved the hype.

“Things That Go Bump In My Head” is an unusual horror anthology–it’s not quite literary fiction, not quite science-fiction, not quite fantasy, not quite horror…it’s a mishmash of all these genres. The author steered clear from conventional  slashers, and created a new kind of horror story. In that way, the anthology’s undefinable “weirdness” lends itself well to speculative fiction.  I don’t like the term, quiet horror, since there was nothing at all “quiet” about the morality lessons in her tales.

A Life Of Her Own | The anthology opens with a heartbreaking story about a 15yr old girl who is wooed by a smooth talking thief on a bus. Smitten by the encounter, she unwittingly returns home with empty pockets and is beaten to death by her father as a result. I was horrified by this story most of all, not because the events were frightening, but because I know things like this happen in real life. The author subtly reminds the reader that children are most vulnerable, thus forcing us to confront the monsters of everyday life. Sumiko Saulson’s narrative voice is reminiscent of Flannery O’Connor’s, “Good Country People.” I enjoyed this unusual ghost story almost as much as Agrippa.

Agrippa |Hands down, my favorite story in the anthology. This short story takes a sharp left turn from A Life Of Her Own and dumps the reader into a suspenseful, sci-fi dystopian romp. We meet Agrippa, a feisty 80-something year old woman who is forced into experimentation labs during the aftermath of the Dulcetta Reforms. Scientists swap old peoples’ bodies with organic and inorganic hosts to find the source for everlasting life. Agrippa has all the makings of a new classic, and should be read alongside H.P. Lovecraft’s, “Whisperer in Darkness” or any of Neil Gaiman’s short stories. I don’t want to give away spoilers, but definitely read this story if you don’t read anything else by Sumiko Saulson! The author reads a short sample of Agrippa aloud HERE.

The Best Book You Never Read | This story is a weird one. A depressed writer busts his typewriter open, freeing two genies, Brownshit and Greenshit. The writer asks the genies to help him finish his novel, however the genies’ intentions are as ugly as their appearances. It’s a cautionary tale about drugs, but I like that the narrative reads like an acid trip. The surprise ending is definitely a surprise. I think I like this story for its bizarre premise and original writing.

Company | A gothic ghost story that will make you think. Despair saturates each sentence, oppressive, and inescapable to the reader as it is for the characters. A doomed waitress lives in a haunted town that sticks to melancholy like roaches on flypaper. She struggles to free herself, but finds herself hopelessly bound to the lost souls around her. When they die, they stay. No one leaves. Ever. It’s an interesting story about life and death and moving past it. Again, Sumiko Saulson shows sensitivity towards her characters, painting even the most pathetic bum in a sympathetic light. Whether or not the town deserves it, the reader can’t help but feel sorry for its undead residents.

As with most anthology collections, the short stories in “Things That Go Bump In My Head” range from brilliant to just so-so. I enjoyed most of the poems and original artwork. All in all, this is a great introduction to Sumiko Saulson and quiet horror and speculative fiction in general. She’s a fantastic writer and more people should read books like hers. It’s different. But different doesn’t always mean “bad.” I’m giving this book a 4.5 out of 5 stars. Hell yes all the way!

Welcome to Horror Television, Penny Dreadful!

0

Recently I’ve been watching these previews for a new show on Showtime called “Penny Dreadful” starring Timothy Dalton, Eva Green, and Josh Hartnett. From what I’ve heard and seen, this show features some of our favorite monsters from classic horror novels. Among the monsters creeping in this show are Dracula, Dorian Gray, Frankenstein, and Frankenstein’s Monster.

The plot has been very vague:

“Some of literature’s most terrifying characters, including Dr. Frankenstein, Dorian Gray, and iconic figures from the novel Dracula are lurking in the darkest corners of Victorian London. PENNY DREADFUL is a frightening psychological thriller that weaves together these classic horror origin stories into a new adult drama.” says Showtime.

I’m actually excited to watch this show. First reason: I love Eva Green. I think she is a brilliant actress and she knows how to play a mysterious femme fatale. Second reason: Classic Monsters! I’m interested in seeing how these monsters are portrayed. Third reason: Gore, Gore, Gore! There’s going to be a lot of gore in this show, I can tell.

Well, I’ll set my DVR to check this show out. Or maybe I can check online for the premiere episode. Anyway, I’ll check it out and review it for you.

PENNY DREADFUL TRAILER

Lesbian STDs in “Contracted!”

0

Directed by Eric England

Stars: Najarra Townsend, Caroline Williams, Katie Stegemen, Alice McDonald, and Matt Mercer

Another lesbian horror movie, yay! And for once the lesbian relationship wasn’t just “hinted” at. There’s full blown lesbianism and STDs, ha! “Contracted” (2013) is about a girl who develops unusual symptoms after a one-night stand at a party. She has drunken sex with a dude. Or at least I think he’s a dude. More than likely the guy was an alien or a monster…but that’s beside the point.

She goes to the doctor but he doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with her. Panic starts to set in as her symptoms get worse. At the same time, her social life is crumbling, which causes her to fuck up at work. There are two persistent suitors in her life, one male, one female, which further complicates things. Her girlfriend refuses to give her the time of day, even going so far as to doubt her sexuality. The crazier her symptoms, the more her friends and family turn their backs on her. They blame her behavior on drugs and her (abusive?) lesbian relationship.  Things come to a head when her eye turns into…whatever it turns into, and her teeth and nails fall out. This is a body horror movie, and so of course her transformation is gruesome and unsettling.

I was impressed with the horror make-up. It’s simple but effective. Trailer below:

Overall, I liked this movie. I don’t know if the writer/director has paranoia about lesbians, bisexuals, or women in general…but he clearly doesn’t want them to have sex. C+