Audiences…How Important Are They?


For the past couple of weeks I’ve been giving audiences a lot of thought. Damsel Cannibal and I had a small talk about what our next projects were going to be and, trust me, there were journals filled with page upon page of ideas. From sex mutants to aztec gods we threw our ideas around until it came down to “Who is our audience?”. Was is it LGBT? YA? Maybe Horror or Romance? Maybe all in one? This ugly question really forced us to realize how important a demographic is and, as much as we want to believe that we can bring good literature to the minds of the general public, it all comes down to if someone wants to read it or not.

Now let’s talk about the picture of Teen Wolf. Why did I post that? Well my niece begged me to watch this show with her since she’s a die hard fan. So I watched the past four seasons and learned something about audiences. This show is geared toward hormonal teenagers, horror fans, and young twenty-somethings who just want to stare at hot guys. As much as I enjoyed the horror bit and the comic relief(aka Stiles), I honestly couldn’t get past the angsty teen love scene. The constant whining and pining of these teenagers bugged me so much that I had to fast forward the romantic parts. Even when they have a mature adult werewolf(Derek Hale, the one character that was holding my attention) he doesn’t get enough screen time. In fact his character got demoted from series regular to guest star.

What does this tell us? Well since I just turned 27 on Saturday, this show really isn’t for me or I’m forced to be part of the “young twenty-somethings who just want to stare at hot guys”. I can’t relate to these teenagers anymore because I’m a grown ass woman. The only thing that is keeping my interest is the hot shirtless men and the Monsters running around Beacon Hills. Now for someone like my niece, who is still in high school, she can’t get enough of it. It’s like she can speak the language while I have to watch with subtitles.

So for all you who want to actually see your shows, movies, comics, and books being enjoyed by the general public, please consider who your audience is. I’m sure that in college there are plenty of classes that tell you this, but sitting in a class and experiencing it are two different things. Trust us, it’s a pain in the ass to put your blood, sweat, and tears into your work and get a rejection because publishers don’t know which category it belongs in. It’s easy to think that you’re the exception to the rule but you’re not. Please don’t fall into that trap!

That’s my humble opinion.

“Frankie’s Army” Has Monsters of Epic Proportions


Director: Richard Raaphorst

Writers: Richard Raaphorst, Miguel Tejada-Flores

Starring: Karel Roden, Andrei Zayats, Luke Newberry, Joshua Sasse

The Netherlands has reminded us what good special effects is. I’m not saying CGI is the worst filmmaking tool, I’m just saying that less is more in some cases. Frankenstein’s Army is the perfect example how a little makeup and fabrication work can create awesome monsters.

Set in WWII, a group of Soviet soldiers are on a mission to rescue their comrades from behind enemy lines. However, the farther they go into Nazi territory they realize that the Nazis are the least of their troubles. Monsters constructed by a mad scientist terrorize the both sides of the war giving the Soviets little chance of surviving.

Like I said earlier, old Hollywood magic is what made this movie so entertaining. As grotesque and gory as the movie is, the monsters were like individual works of art. The creativity was astounding. You had some that had propellers for heads, power drills for noses, saws for hands, etc. There was blood, guts, and brains! You’ll see what a mean about about the brains…that scene was hilarious!

Here’s some of the Concept Art:

Although “mockumentary” films are overused, I thought it made the movie fun. It had a vintage feel to it and I do like a shaky camera to add to the confusion of a horror scene. Not too shaky, of course, but the disorientation adds to the horror.

Was the plot silly? Yes. Was the ending predictable? Absolutely. But you’re not going to watch Frankenstein’s Army for the plot. It’s all about the monsters here and I know that you’ll enjoy each and every one!

Am I the only one who thinks this would make a great video game?


The Day the Monsters Died….


I thought I’d just take a minute and mourn Monsters as a whole. No longer are they created to scare the shit out of us, now you just feel sorry for them. You feel sorry not because they’re these tortured being, but because they’re so depressing.


I think the CW’s Beauty and the Beast bugs me the most. It was a reboot of the 1980’s TV which everyone loved with Ron Perlman as Vincent the strong Beast with a poetic soul. This new Vincent is sexy former soldier with a scar on his face. I enjoyed the 1980s version better because you can see why Vincent feels that he and Catherine can’t be together. He looks like a freaking lion!! the modern Vincent was part of a super-soldier program that went wrong and the scar is a result of that. When he gets upset he turns into something similar to the Incredible Hulk. So he feel because of his emotional issues he and Catherine can’t be together. Take an anti-depressant and move on. You have no right to call yourself a hideous monster when you’re anything but hideous. I tried watching it with an open mind but I just hated this no modern Emo Vincent.


I’m not going to say I hated “I, Frankenstein” because I didn’t. I thought it was a fun scifi movie. However, I wished that they made Aaron Eckhart look more like a monster. He’s got scars that look like they’re painted on. Now if the patches of skin were different colors letting us know they were different body parts, then that would make us see with our own eyes that he is a monster. His character too is running around the planet whining about how he’s a monster and no one would love him. Look in the mirror! Scars are sexy so you don’t have a reason to complain. The original Frankenstein’s Monster was a mess! Of course people are going to run away from him, but Adam(Eckhart) looks pretty normal. If he needed to make up a story he could tell everyone he got mugged once….and it didn’t end well for the mugger! Just saying. Yet another Emo Monster.

And lastly there’s the vampires. The sparkly and bloody kind.

I realize that vampires are supposed to be sex symbols but sparkling vampires?! I like my vampires unapologetic, violent, and bloody. That’s why I love shows like TrueBlood and Dracula. These vampires will tear you to pieces. Why? Because they can. They are monsters with nothing but time on their hands so they do whatever they want, whenever they want. It’s pretty cool to have that kind of power, don’t you think? So the question I ask myself is why would you waste your time being a “vegetarian” vampire? To make them seem more human? They’re monsters! They’re not supposed to be human. I also can’t get past the glittering thing of Twilight. I’ll admit I read the books and I got wrapped up into the “Team Edward vs Team Jacob” battle but then I grew up. Sparkling vampires isn’t scary, but I will give Edward Cullen credit for being a creep. He watches Bella sleep, follows her everywhere, and thinks she smells delicious. Kinda like a creepy Santa except he doesn’t have any presents.

On a side note: has anyone else noticed that as the Twilight movies progressed, the vampires stopped sparkling?

Anyway, that’s my rant about monsters today. I have more hope for the future though. NBC’s Dracula has shown me that the classic vampire is back in action. I also heard through the grapevine that NBC is considering a “Wolfman” series inspired by the classic monster. I hope it’s true and that they remain faithful to the classic monster. Below I found a hilarious video about what would happen if Eric Northman from TrueBlood ever met Edward Cullen.


“The Tunnel” in Australia


Director: Carlo Ledesma

Starring: Bel Delia, Andy Rodoreda, Steve Davis

Whose bright idea was to go down the creepy-ass tunnel that the government doesn’t want you going into? That’s right, it’s the stupid ambitious reporter who wants to make a name for herself. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

So this is another “mocumentary” about a news crew who decides to investigate the metro tunnels in Sydney. They want to know why certain tunnels are closed and why the homeless who live there are going missing and the government doesn’t seem to care. Natasha(Bel Delia) recruits her cameramen to investigate the tunnels without her boss’ consent. Did I mention she didn’t tell her film crew that this story was off the books? After getting lost, Natasha and her crew run into mysterious creatures that think the news crew is dinner.

What to say about this movie? I hate reporters. Seriously I wanted to punch Natasha in the face. But besides that, I think this movie could’ve been better. The biggest issue I had with this movie was that it was really dark. Not dark as in the subject was dark but the lighting as a whole was way too dark. I could barely see anything. I think that was the point, but it took away from the terror of the creatures in the tunnels. You also didn’t get a good look at them which was probably for the best. Now that adds to the terror of “what are they?”!

I also liked that they broke up the movie so it wasn’t constant “found footage”. Instead they made it like a real documentary where there is an interviewer talking to the “survivors”. I thought it was a nice change in pace.

Anyway, I’d give this movie a C. 

Here’s a trailer: