“Frankie’s Army” Has Monsters of Epic Proportions


Director: Richard Raaphorst

Writers: Richard Raaphorst, Miguel Tejada-Flores

Starring: Karel Roden, Andrei Zayats, Luke Newberry, Joshua Sasse

The Netherlands has reminded us what good special effects is. I’m not saying CGI is the worst filmmaking tool, I’m just saying that less is more in some cases. Frankenstein’s Army is the perfect example how a little makeup and fabrication work can create awesome monsters.

Set in WWII, a group of Soviet soldiers are on a mission to rescue their comrades from behind enemy lines. However, the farther they go into Nazi territory they realize that the Nazis are the least of their troubles. Monsters constructed by a mad scientist terrorize the both sides of the war giving the Soviets little chance of surviving.

Like I said earlier, old Hollywood magic is what made this movie so entertaining. As grotesque and gory as the movie is, the monsters were like individual works of art. The creativity was astounding. You had some that had propellers for heads, power drills for noses, saws for hands, etc. There was blood, guts, and brains! You’ll see what a mean about about the brains…that scene was hilarious!

Here’s some of the Concept Art:

Although “mockumentary” films are overused, I thought it made the movie fun. It had a vintage feel to it and I do like a shaky camera to add to the confusion of a horror scene. Not too shaky, of course, but the disorientation adds to the horror.

Was the plot silly? Yes. Was the ending predictable? Absolutely. But you’re not going to watch Frankenstein’s Army for the plot. It’s all about the monsters here and I know that you’ll enjoy each and every one!

Am I the only one who thinks this would make a great video game?


“The Tunnel” in Australia



Director: Carlo Ledesma

Starring: Bel Delia, Andy Rodoreda, Steve Davis

Whose bright idea was to go down the creepy-ass tunnel that the government doesn’t want you going into? That’s right, it’s the stupid ambitious reporter who wants to make a name for herself. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

So this is another “mocumentary” about a news crew who decides to investigate the metro tunnels in Sydney. They want to know why certain tunnels are closed and why the homeless who live there are going missing and the government doesn’t seem to care. Natasha(Bel Delia) recruits her cameramen to investigate the tunnels without her boss’ consent. Did I mention she didn’t tell her film crew that this story was off the books? After getting lost, Natasha and her crew run into mysterious creatures that think the news crew is dinner.

What to say about this movie? I hate reporters. Seriously I wanted to punch Natasha in the face. But besides that, I think this movie could’ve been better. The biggest issue I had with this movie was that it was really dark. Not dark as in the subject was dark but the lighting as a whole was way too dark. I could barely see anything. I think that was the point, but it took away from the terror of the creatures in the tunnels. You also didn’t get a good look at them which was probably for the best. Now that adds to the terror of “what are they?”!

I also liked that they broke up the movie so it wasn’t constant “found footage”. Instead they made it like a real documentary where there is an interviewer talking to the “survivors”. I thought it was a nice change in pace.

Anyway, I’d give this movie a C. 

Here’s a trailer:

Critters in “The Bay”!



Director: Barry Levinson

Starring: Will Rogers, Kristen Connolly, Kether Donohue

Holy crap! I loved this movie!!

Another “mocumentary” for you guys. I never get tired of these kind of movies. Anyway, the movie is about a small town by the ocean who become infested with little critters in their drinking water. Due to the unsanitary water(caused by all the chicken shit they dump in the ocean), these mutant bugs are everywhere. In the drinking water, the ocean, the shower…if it’s water it’s probably in it. The town fall into chaos when everyone suffers from rashes, then boils, and then get eaten from the inside out. Government cover-up? I think so!

This also played like a documentary where one of the survivors was being interviewed and explains her point of view. We see her as a news intern out and about for the Fourth of July celebration. We see her camera shots and she provides some commentary throughout the film. I honestly thought that she was annoying and unnecessary.  I think it was because it was always about her “oh my god! I can’t believe I wore that!” or “Oh my god, I can’t believe I asked those questions!” Really? Half the town is being eaten alive and the only piece of commentary is how embarrassed you are?

There are a few groups of characters you follow. There the young couple out on their boat, the oceanographers who first discovered the mutant bugs, the doctor at the hospital, the news intern, and the Sheriff. Each adds a different perspective to the confusion. I think I liked the doctor at the hospital and the sheriff the best. Mostly because the Doctor was arguing with the CDC and the Sheriff didn’t know whether to help the infected or euthanize the infected.

Obviously the main message was “keep the ocean clean”! But they did it in a fun entertaining way. I think this also shows that the Government has no clue on how to handle catastrophic incidents. After watching this movie, you’ll be thinking twice about drinking out of the tap.

I give this movie an A-