Human Centipede (2009) and Human Centipede 2 (2011)
Director: Tom Six
Everyone has heard of the Human Centipede franchise by now, right? The third and final Human Centipede movie is expected to come out this year in 2015 and I don’t know WHY. What more story can there possibly be after the first two movies? If you haven’t watched any of the Human Centipede films (which you totally should if you’re in the UK or Australia where it was banned) I hope you’ve at least seen the South Park sketch, right? Right?
I’m not gonna bore you with a long synopsis. There isn’t much to these movies that can’t be gleaned in the first 15 seconds of viewing the trailers. Madman kidnaps victims, sews victims together ass-to-mouth, something about centipedes, yadda yadda, everybody dies. Should you watch it? Maybe. If only because it was banned internationally for its “obscenity.”
The ass-to-mouth chain gang concept is kind of hilarious on its own, and if the movies didn’t try too hard to be scary and just rolled with its obvious pulp appeal, this franchise could’ve been saved. However both movies fail to impress, which is hella awkward because too many of us are laughing at childish poop jokes to take what little horror there is seriously.
I think I’ll pass on Human Centipede 3, thank you. 5/10 stars for both films.
So this year I, Damsel Bruja, have decided to do something extremely crazy and possibly life changing……I’m going to do GISHWHES!
GISHWHES stands for the Greatest International Scavenger Hunt the World Has Ever Seen and it was started by Supernatrual star Misha Collins. On August 2, 2014 the Hunt will begin and he will most likely ask us to do crazy things but if he asks me to jump out of a plane wearing a tutu while singing God Save the Queen, I’m not fucking doing it.
Anyway, this is all for charity and a chance to break a world record. GISHWHES has already broken 5 world records and I think that would be cool to be a part of. Unfortunately, registration is closed so maybe next year you all can sign up. If you can’t afford it, like me, you can sign up for a “gishcholarship” and hope someone is generous enough to sponsor you. Someone did this for me and I’ll be forever thankful.
Anyway, my team is IDontThinkSo and I hope that we have what it takes to get half the things on the list! I’m super excited but really nervous too. I’ve seen some of the things that were one past lists and I’m a little worried I won’t be able to get some of these things done. For example, one of them was find a machine that simulates skydiving and take a picture of yourself eating a sandwich(extra points if it’s a sloppy joe) in it.
*sigh* Well, I’ll keep you updated on how I get some of the challenges done. Which Team IDontThinkSo luck and pray that I don’t get arrested or committed to the Funny Farm.