Not So “Smiley”

Director: Michael J. Gallagher

Starring: Caitlin Gerard, Melanie Papalia, Shane Dawson

Warning: Contains Spoilers

Oh God…this movie is just….it’s just….horrible!!! You see guys I’m going to save you from this disaster of a horror film and hopefully you never come across it ever!

So this sorry excuse for a horror film is about Ashley(Caitlin Gerard) who is the stereotypical pure-as-a-snowflake daddy’s girl going to college. While hanging out with her roommate Proxy(Melanie Papalia), she learns about a new Urban Legend called Smiley. You get on this website and video chat with random strangers. If you type “i did it for the lulz” three times in the IM box, Smiley is supposed to appear out of nowhere and kill the person you’re chatting with. Ashley’s fears of Smiliey continue to grow as she takes a creepy philosophy class. So is Smiley real or is it some elaborate prank that the cool kids are pulling on the naive virgin?

Geez, where do I start. How about the characters? Everywhere I looked there was some stereotype being portrayed. You have Proxy, the goth chick who constantly likes to poke fun at Ashley’s goody-goody personality. Then there’s Ashley…I’ll just come out and say I didn’t believe in her character at all. There’s no way that a sheltered daddy’s girl is that stupid. I’m a sheltered daddy’s girl and I understand slang. Throughout the movie she’s running around like a crazy person, “OMG OMG! Smiley is coming to kill me!” I don’t think it helped that she was blonde because that added to the “dumb blonde” routine.  Then there’s Binder, the dorky kid no one likes and believes in the Smiley legend. And lastly there’s Zane, the cool kid/hacker who is the party animal. Did you care what happened to these character throughout the film? NO!

Now for the lack of plot. Basically it’s about driving Ashley insane that she jumps out a window and kills herself. No joke it was all an elaborate prank with Binder as the criminal mastermind to make her think that Smiley was real. Then the group of Binder’s lackey dress like Smiley and chase her around the house until she throws herself out the second story window and dies. Why did they do it? They did it for the lulz. Binder is possibly some cult leader because nobody felt bad that they drove someone to their death…that’s at least manslaughter. In the end, no so surprisingly, Zane gets on the computer with Proxy on the other end on Skype and types “i did it for the lulz” three times as a joke. Well, the real Smiley comes out and kills Proxy. Leaving us to believe that the whole time, Smiley was real.

I got really angry watching this movie. I couldn’t stop yelling at Ashley’s stupidity. I guess she didn’t realize that now that she’s in college she doesn’t have to worry about the whole “finding a clique” thing. Trust me, in college nobody gives a flying fuck who you were in high school. They have their own problems.

It was just a bad movie. Don’t watch it. You’ll be pulling your hair out just like I was.

SAVE YOURSELF AND DON’T WATCH!!!!

Trailer:

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